Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I want to be your penis for a week.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
