dude i'm inner monologue high
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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