i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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