I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
