She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
