she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
