Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
