This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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