its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
