Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
