It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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