It's like God shit irony all over that family
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
