it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
