I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
