is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
