either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
