Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
