We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
