I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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