Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
