we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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