If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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