There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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