question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
