i think i have herpe
just one?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
