If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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