Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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