Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
