I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
