Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Randomize
