This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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