he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
