I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
