just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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