New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
