So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
