you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
a search helicopter?!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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