I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I died a long time ago.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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