I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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