Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
