so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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