I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
