he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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