Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
