He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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