WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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