shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
