In the future we'll all be gay
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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