as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
