Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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