I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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